Religion is Weird!

Religion is such a weird thing. IF you follow one of the religions that believes in a God then it’s really weird. That means trusting your life into the hands of that which you cannot see. I want a relationship with a God that is not tangible. I feel in my being that God is, but there is no hand to hold or face to see. As the little boy in the story said, I want someone with skin on. Christians believe that Christ was a real man and that he existed in time, but that was 2000 years ago. He was a man that touched people with his hands and forgave their sins. He was real and tangible. I covet that touch. He came to earth in a time when people were as segregated as we are now. Jews not talking to Samaritans. Romans not talking to Jews. Actually, the Romans didn’t really talk to anyone. Religion seperated people. Slavery, sacrifice, race and power and any number of excuses created separation much in the way those same things do today. The religious leaders of the time had so much power that they were keeping people from relationship with God much the same way as is happening today. Jesus came and said, “You can touch the face of God the same was I do. You can be one with the creator the same as I am and the best part is the only rule is love. Not only that, but I am going to show you how that love looks. I am going to teach you, heal you, forgive you, love you and then I am going to die for you.” I want to know this Man. I want to figure out how to touch Him and how to let Him touch me. How do I do that? I pray and I know in my spirit that something is listening. Something is paying attention to what I have to say and what I feel. So many questions and I have no answers, but I have faith. I have faith. That thing that causes me to trusts in something it cannot see. To act on, for lack of a better word, intuition believing it was God guiding me. This is all I have. It is not all I want, but it is what I believe when I cannot see, that will be counted to me as righteousness in the end. Still, in all of this faith I desire to touch God.In all of this questioning this is my only conclusion. Paul said we are the body. If I touch the believers around me, am I then touching Christ? If I hold the hand of a small child in need am I connecting with God? Jesus prayed to the Creator that we be one as They are one. I think that He meant so many things by that. But if I can’t actually touch Jesus, God or the Holy Spirit, maybe if I connect with my family, the Family of God, then I am connecting with God. BUT, no matter how much I want to actually have physical contact with a God I can’t see, I will never. It is impossible. At least it is within the confines of this limited body. My short term life in this body confines me to the physically tangible experience. Even my spiritual connection with God has a physical ramification. I feel my body react to the love I perceive from God. Adrenaline will rush. Endorphins will be released and I will have a feeling of euphoria and peace. I want to know if that is just me or if it’s real. Is it really God? Even as I ask the question my insides jump in the knowledge that it IS God. God speaks to my spirit and I feel it. It is impossible to explain. Science says its an invention of the mind, but I don’t believe that. I didn’t really have a deep belief in God until I was in my late 30’s. I never felt that assurance until I said “yes” when someone asked me if I wanted to have a different life, a life in Christ. I said aloud on the outside that Christ was the One and my insides changed. Afterward I would be driving in my car not even thinking about God and I would suddenly feel a rush in my bones and know that somehow I was now different. In my whole life of growing up in a religion as a devout Mormon, I never once felt that feeling. I felt love like a liquid filling me up. I could hear the ‘voice of God’ speaking things into my life that I would never have thought on my own. I believe in God. I believe that God loves me. I pray that God reaches down to touch me so that I might know Him/Her. So that I may become one with the One Who made me. God sent Jesus to show me how to connect with God, but I am still seeking the way in this world of confusion. I’ll keep seeking as God promised to seek me.